do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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