Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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