I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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