y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
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