Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize