5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Too much gin, very little bucket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize