OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
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I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
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Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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