wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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