is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
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He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
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You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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