Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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