I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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