Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
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