you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize