I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
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You did a strip tease for the toilet.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize