i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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