you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Randomize