i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
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you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
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don't judge my taste in strippers
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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