I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize