If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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