Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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