you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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