I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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