i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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