In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
That reminds me...we need to get swords
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize