His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I need to align my fucking chakras
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