Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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