I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
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