She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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