Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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