Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize