Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize