what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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