so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
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Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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