apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I want her autograph on my taint
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
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