You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
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remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize