forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
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Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
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Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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