I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
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