Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
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i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
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I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize