I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize