Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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