IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
is that a dick in a sweater?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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