Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
fuck your aforementioned shoe
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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