I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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