I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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