i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize