Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
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Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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