It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
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One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
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Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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