turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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