what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize