so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
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her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
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I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize